Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Parental Discovery Vol. 2

Prohibition began in the United States in 1920.  Many people thought it was a good idea since it seemed that alcoholism was becoming an epidemic in America if you listened to the temperance movement.  The problem was that America was founded on the principles of freedom and by taking away the freedom to have a drink, responsibly or not, created a new revolution.  Organized crime took hold in many of the larger cities manufacturing illegal alcohol and fear.  Alcoholism rates among children and females skyrocketed from number that were nonexistent to numbers that are higher than today.  Prohibition was considered to be a colossal failure.  Sometimes our parenting efforts are just like prohibition.  We become overly strict with our children and as a result we raise children that rebel against even the most basic things that we say because we have betrayed their trust by failing to acknowledge the lessons we have taught them in life.

Over parenting often occurs because parents are too afraid of what may happen to their children in the real world.  The first problem with that is that our kids are not our own, they belong to God.  If we are called to be "Salt and Light" then our children should be as well.  It is our responsibility to raise our kids with a cognitive reality of the traps of the world, but more so with an understanding of who God is and the call that He has on their lives.  The other problem is that parents that over parent often struggle with unresolved issues in their past.  Parents that go through unpleasant things as children do not want their child to be hurt so they try to protect them.  I get that.  It makes sense, but we have to make sure that the unpleasant thing that our kids go through isn't their own childhood because we failed to give them the opportunity to grow.  We mustn't project our fears and failures on our children.  So what.  When you were a kid you screwed up, or you were treated unfairly, use that experience to teach your child what not to do don't shield them from reality because you do not want them to get hurt.  Hurt is one of the many feelings that we all must experience in order to grow.  To stop hurt and pain is to teach our children to not appreciate love and joy, and thus retard the growth of our kids.

Over parenting fails to teach basic reasoning skills to our children.  As a parent we are to teach our child to think for themselves.  Just because you are afraid that they may fail does not make it alright to ensure that they do not.  My father used to tell me that he would give me enough rope to hang myself with, and I hung myself more times than I care to admit.  I was still able to learn though.  I didn't die.  I didn't get kidnapped, or drink Jim Jones' Kool-Aid.  I just suffered the failings of my own stupidity and learned (hopefully) not to do it again.

We have, somewhat, direct control of our children for the first 18 years of their life.  Are we going to take advantage of that time and train them in the Word and teach them the application of that Word, or are we going to collect children like they're porcelain dolls only to take them off their shelves to dust them and use them to amuse ourselves?  This is our opportunity to allow our children to be all God as intended them to be.

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